Does Your Love Language Influence Your Valentine’s Day Expectations?

Do our Valentine’s Day expectations fall in line line with our love language, or do they have more to do with the seriousness of our relationship and how long we’ve been in that relationship?

To help with finding the answer to my initial question,  I gathered the opinions of seven individuals from different backgrounds and lifestyles, and these were the results.

Acts of Service –The 5 Love Languages describes this love language as doing anything you can do to ease the burden of responsibilities

My husband I have been married for a decade (that sounds like a long time) and as I think back through the years, my idea of the perfect Valentine’s Day gift has changed on a pretty steady rate. My love language is acts of service, so on the occasions that I ask for gifts I’m specific about what I want. I don’t put a lot of pressure on my husband on Valentine’s Day, cause I’m a Daddy’s Girl. I like for my husband to be our girls’ Valentine, because I expect to be my dad’s.

Words of Affirmation –The 5 Love Languages describes this love language as Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like.

#1 Interviewee  -this male lover of affirmations has been married for a little over ten years, and even though on a normal basis Valentine gifts aren’t really a big deal for him, there are situationally motivated one-offs that prompt him to ask for something specific, yet simple. He usually buys practical, useful gifts.

#2 Interviewee -my second interviewee likes to be affirmed as well. This single male explained that gifts aren’t really a big deal, he’s always associated Valentine’s Day as a day for women. However, he pays attention to what his lady talks about and usually buys gifts that knock it out of park.

Quality Time –The 5 Love Languages describes this love language as giving your spouse undivided attention. Talking and listening.

#3 Interviewee -Married for three years, this male interviewee likes undivided attention. He’s not particular about the gifts he receives, and  feels that it’s the thought that counts. He appreciates whatever he’s given. He loves to plan romantic date nights for him and his boo.

#4 Interviewee -Valentine’s Day is still a really big deal for this recently engaged bride-to-be. Since her love language is quality time, she totally expects something romantic that’s geared for couples. Gifts aren’t necessary for her when time can be spent and memories can be made.

#5 Interviewee-Eight years of marriage and two children later, this working mom looks forward to a nice evening of quiet time with her man. Even though she loves quality time, on Valentine’s Day she is always over the moon to receive Valentine candy.

Gifts –The 5 Love Languages describes this love language as a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”

#6 Interviewee -After twenty-two years of marriage, all she wants is for her husband to buy something that costs more then “$199.99”. She explained that yes, she does like receiving gifts, but around the fifteenth year, she longed for something that wasn’t purchased from a cheesy valentine day jewelry commercial.

#7 Interviewee -With a little more than two years of marriage under her belt, this interviewee said, and I quote. “He better give me something, and I’m not talking about one long-stemmed rose either.”

Both of the ladies explained that when it comes to flowers, yes they are nice, but there is no need to spend an excessive amount of money on them. They’d much rather prefer a more bang for your buck bouquet. After all, flowers die after a week.


Physical Touch –The 5 Love Languages includes holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love.

No one fell into this category, or maybe they were just too shy to share.

What is your love language and how do it correlate to your expectations on Valentine’s Day? Please share in the comments section.

DALLAS CEO, STEPHANIE JOHNSON, FEATURED ON LIFETIME TELEVISION’S NEWEST REALITY SHOW!

Nothing tests a budding relationship like travel, and the new series Love at First Flight takes it a step further, matching new couples to embark on a romantic (and stressful) journey across North America — with the chance to get married at the airport immediately after their final flight lands.

Meeting for the first time in New York, the couples criss-cross the country towards Los Angeles, as their compatibility is tested not only by the unpredictable pressures of travel, but also by a series of uniquely crafted travel-based challenges. Tune in fo the premiere of Love at First Flight, Tuesday, March 20, 2018 at 10pm ET/PT on Lifetime!

Love At First Flight Season 1 Preview

ABOUT STEPHANIE JOHNSON

Stephanie Johnson is the Founder and CEO of Dallas’ Singles & The City – an exclusive member based community for single professionals willing to become the person they seek to attract.

“At Singles & The City, our main tagline is, ‘There is more to being single than dating.’ We are a self empowerment community for single dating professionals mid-twenties to forties. We are a totally different spin off of what the entire world is doing right now.

Everyone is dating, and what not —hooking up. I’m trying to help you get to your bottom line. I partner with a lot of therapists, group counselors; people that can really help you change your mindset and how you see yourself, and why you’re single. And if you don’t want to be single, what are the things that make you unattractive,” Stephanie explains.

After a corporate layoff in 2015 – Stephanie took her then passion of hosting events and turned it into profit, having expanded her company to 5 cities in less than 4 years. Singles & The City has active chapters and hosts’ monthly events in Dallas, Austin, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Detroit.

Although watching her from afar looks seamless, she’s the first to be transparent about being a full-time Entrepreneur. Stephanie nearly lost everything in 2016 – sleeping on friend’s sofas and Lyfting to her own events.

“I was in East Lansing and moved here [to Dallas] in 2010. I worked in corporate,  in the restaurant industry. I did telemarketing and I loved my job. I also did concierge work, and then did restaurant work again, but prior to my lay-off I’d started Single & The City like a yeary prior —just as a volunteer, community type thing,” she says.

“I fully did not expect all that happened to happen. And when I got laid off I started going through my savings and everything just kind of hit the fan and that’s how the whole homeless thing started, and that’s when I was like, ‘Ok, it’s time to turn this into an actual company and get some income coming in, so I just kind-of need to bite the bullet and become a professional business owner.’ And that’s how it happened.”

Despite the loss, she managed to open 2 new chapters in Los Angeles and Chicago. When asked about how she determines which cities are picked to hosts Single & The City she explains, “I go where the demand is.”

LOVE AT FIRST FLIGHT

Filming Love At First Flight was an amazing experience and Stephanie is very excited to share her life with the viewers.

What compelled you to tryout for the cast of Love at First Flight?

“Honestly, I was getting a lot of feedback from my members, like, ‘oh my gosh, I met this guy, or this girl, and we’re getting married next week.’ and I’ve been to several weddings already that happened like within six weeks from Singles & The City, and I was like, ‘Am I missing something? What’s going on?’ So, the opportunity came up for the show and, of course, no one ever thinks you’re going to make the cast. So, it was about me getting into the brains of singles I talk to all the time that this has happened to, and then to have the opportunity to be matched by a “professional matchmaker” and possibly meeting the person of your dreams. I was like, ‘at least let me just try.”

Are you a hopeless romantic?

“I actually am a hopeless romantic. I’m always like, ‘maybe he’ll be at Barnes and Noble, or maybe I’ll run into him at Whole Foods —that would be great!”

What were your thoughts when you initially arrived to meet your partner?


“Oh my gosh, initial thoughts —I don’t want to tell you too much, but I was really really excited! I was excited about his ethnicity. He’s very attractive, so I thought, ‘ok! This is going to be good!’ I wanted to at least walk away with a new friend. My expectations were not high. I was not trying to fall in love. I’m like, ‘I’m going to into this with no fear. If I’m traveling, [then] I’m at least going to make a new friend.”

 
What was your biggest challenge during this experience?

“The biggest challenge during the experience —I would definitely say was just being alone in certain situations and then it being Reality TV on top of that. I’m a very structured person, so to wake up everyday and not know what your day holds. And then you’re going to see me do some stuff that you would never see me do in real life, activity wise. You’ve got kind-of like Amazing Race meets The Bachelor meets —I mean the show is just crazy awesome! But, there are so many different activities that you have to do with your partner. You have to trust them to get it done so,  for me, not being in control was like, ‘Oh My God— I’m [gonn]a do this today!”

What did you learn about yourself during this experience?


“I learned that I’m a lot more open than I thought and I shocked myself at how open I was, at love, and at trusting other people, and at, just kind-of, not being in control.  So, I was like, ‘look at me, growing!’ It was great! I’m much more self aware —it was just a beautiful process.”

How much can you really learn about a person on a travel adventure?

“That’s a good question, but I think the entire point was learning [that] for one, you can learn so much about someone when you’re back to back all the time. And then I would say that after 3 or 4 days of seeing someone 24 hours a day it’s like, ‘ok, I don’t have time to keep wearing makeup.’ You know what I’m saying —at some point you start to let your guard down and really be your true-true self and I think that the situation is what possibly made that happen a little faster. It’s like, ‘ok, today, you’re not getting lashes or heels. I just don’t care and I saw you yesterday, and I know you’re not going anywhere.’ So I mean, honestly, I learned a lot. I learned a lot really fast and it was good. It’s just an interesting way to date, you know —real interesting.”

Do You Believe That Is Possible To Find True Love At First Flight?

“I do believe it’s possible to find Love At First Flight, absolutely! Absolutely —I think you guys are going to love me and my partner and, you’ll be real excited to see the outcome for sure!

Tune in and find out how this local entrepreneur made the best out of uncertain situations and maybe even found the love of her life…all while traveling North America with a stranger.

Love at First Flight is produced by Pilgrim Media Group. Craig Pilgrim and Mike Nichols serve as executive producers for Pilgrim. Gena McCarthy executive produces for Lifetime. Pictures and video clips curtesy of Lifetime.

Love at First Flight Premieres March 20 at 10pm ET/PT on Lifetime. 

Follow Stephanie as she will be LIVE Tweeting during the premier on Twitter and be sure to LIKE her FACEBOOK Fan Page too! 

Pictures and video clips curtesy of Lifetime.

Meet Tashara ‘TJ’ Robinson, POWER MOM!

After more than a decade of “living the dream”, Dallas native, stay-a-home mother of four and wife, TaShara ‘TJ’ Robinson found herself in an unfamiliar space.

“To make a long story short, I ended up filing for divorce after 19 years of marriage,” she says the discussion about her contribution to the newly released POWER Moms book begins.

Who signed up for this

“I met my husband at Texas A&M University and we dated for a few years. Got married, and I decided to be a stay-at-home mom -we had already had the conversation and decided that if we had kids, I’d stay home and raise the kids, and at the time I felt like that was the best decision for me. I wanted to just, you know, be a mom -be a good mom, and I wanted to be a good wife as well. And you know, even as noble as that desire sounded, I found that I still had to deal with real life and a real marriage,” she says.

steps to overcoming

It’s easy to feel alone when faced with adversity, but Robinson explains that, “I find that I have an -unfortunately, it’s not an uncommon story. So, I am encouraging people who have experienced any type of loss. My loss, in particular, was a divorce. So I’m just sharing all the wisdom I have learned,” she says.

”There was a lot of journaling where I was processing a lot of decisions that I knew I would have to make. The journaling, for me, is what helped me come to that decision and even after the divorce, there was still a lot of adjustment with my children and family and friends and -wow, I felt like I just had get it out,” she says.

Through the POWER Moms book, Robinson provides a glimpse into what she had to overcome and shows that, “Hey, everything can look good, but yet there are still some difficulties,” she says.

judging a book by its cover

“The years leading up to that divorce, and, even now it’s been two and a half years, I’ve had a lot of introspection time where I actually had to decide for myself how I wanted my life to go and run and operate,” she says.

She recalls being compared to the Obamas from those on the outside looking in and says, “I thought to myself that they [the Obamas] would be mad with y’all comparing us to them! No, ma’am!” Because everything and everyone who looks good on paper is good, right?

“To be clear, the 19 years weren’t all bad. We have four beautiful children who are emotionally healthy and physically healthy that I’m extremely proud of,” she says.

in the end, it’s a win

Be assured that her story does not end there. The best part of Overcoming obstacles and adversity is most definitely the Win!  In reflection of the journey, and while working on POWER Moms, Robinson came to realizations and discovered Empowering things about herself.

“Obstacles act as an astringent, they bring things out of you. I realized that I operated in a lot of fear. I was afraid…of a lot of things. Like, I’ve been married for 19 years and I haven’t worked in so long. How am I going to make it? I have four kids! How am I going to do that? Can I do this? I don’t  know! So, the fear and the self-doubt I dealt with, but what I also found me,” she says.

“Like, ‘Ok, you might be scared, but we g’on [sic] figure it out!’ That’s what this drew out of me so, I’m not afraid to move past that fear anymore. That’s where I am right now and that’s what that obstacle drew out of me,” she says.

The P.O.W.E.R Moms book  is a compilation of stories of by 12 mothers who exemplify P.O.W.E.R., an acronym for Persevere Overcome Win Empower and Restore. Read more of Tashara’s story, and for book signings, additional POWER Mom events and to purchase your copy, visit www.powermombook.com/t-robinson

Contact www.phenixx.com to book POWER Mom Co-Author Tashara Robinson.

To learn more about Tashara (TJ) Robinson and any upcoming projects visit www.tasharatjrobinson.com.

All photos provided curtesy of Tashara Robinson and Powermomsbook.com

M.I.L.F.

Never in my young adult life did I EVER imagine being sexually empowered and secure enough in my femininity to hit M.I.L.F. status. But here I am, “HEY GIRL!”  And yes, the euphemism may have some of you clutching pearls and judging. But I’ve birthed two children and this body has been through some things; ain’t nothing wrong feeling great about looking good!

 

Motherhood is an experience like no other. I wouldn’t trade it for the world -well, I wouldn’t trade parts of it. Motherhood is the most instinctually selfless process humanly possible. Understand that most days are not pretty, there simply isn’t time for it all.

And because we are women and much is expected and required of us, it’s easy for us to lose anything we’ve ever known about ourselves when we become a mothers. Add marriage and a job to that equation, and you will unknowingly find yourself stretched as thin as ice. Your days start to run together and life passes you by.

The Hubs and I enjoying date night.

Just like the weather, we go through seasons in our lives. It’s our job to learn how to best navigate through life during each of those seasons. Once we learn how to seamlessly adjust to change, things start looking up. I believe it is true that, “with age comes wisdom.” Settling into this crazy, sexy, cool life that I’ve created for myself and some days are a struggle. I’m not too proud to admit that, but when I’m on, I’m on and it’s so refreshing.

P.H.A.T. (Pretty Hot and Tempting) if I do say so myself.

Self-care is all the rage now days and something that I believe in wholeheartedly. It helps me stay focused and at at my best. In today’s society, we allocate the majority of our time to our to-do list leaving little time for rest and relaxation. That can be problematic. As a mother of two, full-time employee, blogger, beauty expert, freelance writer who is married to a high school athletic coach, I have to take “Me-Time” whenever and however I can get it. Some of the ways I sneak in time for self-care are:

Play in makeup – Little girls aren’t the only ones who love to see themselves dolled up. Playing in makeup is good for practicing  applying your favorite looks. It can help you get used to seeing yourself in colors you may normally not wear, and it’s a self-esteem booster.

Have sex -I’m talking about the sex that YOU like. What you like, how you like it and for how long. It’s your world, squirrel! Have the kind of sex that blows your mind and makes you roll over butt-naked, smiling so hard that you have to hide your face in the sheets so your partner doesn’t witness you melting inside.

Working Out -When my schedule allows, I hit the gym and work up a good sweat. Working out helps to relieve stress and tension, and it also helps maintain weight, build muscle and it’s an overall health benefit.

Spa Treatments -A facial, Swedish massage, manicure and pedicure are the ultimate in self-care. But, they can be pricy so on to the next!

Home Spa Treatments -My Toxin-Free facial is relaxing, affordable and will leave your skin feeling silly smooth.

Sitting in silence –I’m not often afforded the opportunity to have the house (or any space) to myself. When those occasions present themselves, I sit in silence. No TV, no radio, and sometimes no cell phone or any other electronic device.

 Go out –Meet your girls, go to brunch, go shopping, go to an empowerment event, go dancing. Do whatever makes your heart smile -and be sure to laugh and take pictures while you’re doing it.

 When I make sure to take time for self-care it shows! My family and friends notice, but most of all, my husband notices. And trust, when I’m top of my game, he reminds me often. After all, he reaps  the benefits  from it!

Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number!

I’m a few years away from being forty, a mom of two, and my husband and I are eight months away from our tenth wedding anniversary. I think it’s safe to say that I’m seasoned with noteworthy life experiences, and for the most part, I’ve settled into who I am confidently. But that doesn’t mean that I’m unwilling, too old or too set in my ways to embrace change (or a little fun).

We planned a five day getaway to Grand Bahama Island, Freeport, Bahamas with my brother, his girlfriend, and my cousin and his wife. My anticipation for the trip grew daily in the months leading up  to the trip. Between feeling my way through this new blogger-life and work-life balance stress, I NEEDED THIS TRIP!

We aren’t new to traveling. My husband and I travel with groups of friends regularly, and it’s always a good time. This trip was a little different because I was traveling with my brother (his girlfriend) and male cousin (and his wife), and both couples are a decade younger than us! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a damn good time. But, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I was concerned about how things would play out being a generation older than the other couples. We automatically claimed our roles as the elders of the group, along with a list of things that “we” do  (or don’t do) while on vacation. You know, in true old people fashion.

Y’all, this was the best destination vacation trip I’ve been on to-date! The island was crazy, sexy, cool. The people where friendly and welcoming. Our travel group was lit! And I learned three valuable lessons from this trip!

Always, always, always be that girl!

Photo by: CreateHer Stock

I’m mindful about keeping it sexy and spicy at home, but when it comes to vacation all I want to do is relax! I pack books and loungewear for all vacations. The girls reminded me that even while relaxing, I should to be sexy and spicy for my man. A vacation without the children is the perfect scenario for taking a few additional minutes to oil up from head to toe, throw on a face and prance around scantily clad all day and into the night.

Don’t put so much focus on age appropriateness (especially while on vacation) and relaxation that you miss the opportunity to be reminded of the girl you were when you were younger, and playful undivided attention from your man.

Seek out the fun you want to have and make it happen!

Photo by: Shebatty

We wanted to experience night life on the island. We asked around, googled a few spots, then called a taxi! While out, we twerked, drank more drinks and took more shots than we should have, and did a damn good job of being hype-men for whomever we pleased. With  five days blocked out, there was plenty of time for sleeping in and nap time.

Let your hair down, order the extra drink, take the shot and dance like nobody is looking! What happens on vacation stays there…well kind of, social media has blurred those lines a little. But, there is no crime in wilding out every once in a while.

Expect the unexpected (and still have fun)!

Photo by: CreateHer Stock

When we finally arrived to our destination, all I wanted to do was freshen up and lay down for hot second, but, of course, our room wasn’t ready. Then, a few days into the trip, someone came down with a stomach virus. Inconvenient? Yes, but we didn’t allow those moments to ruin the entire trip.

Hurry up and wait is definitely a thing during travel. Flight delays, long lines, getting sick, and hotel rooms not being available until check-in are inevitable, so make the best of it. In most cases, your significant other is the only person you might inconvenience on a trip. The rest of the group will find their way and make the best of the situation. Yes, everyone will wish you well with hopes of you getting well or ready soon, but the show will go on. When things are more under control or you start feeling better,  hop on the party train and enjoy your time.

 

The Black Bridal Experience Fashion Show

Our Weddings Magazine is a bridal lifestyle magazine that excluIsively promotes the Black bride and the Black groom. Its Publisher, Ivy McCain (BLI Publishing) saw a need for the uplifting of Black love and marriageafter hearing several youth state that Black people don’t get married. McQuain immediately began working to create a vehicle to remind the world that Black marriages and Black love is real and a staple in the community across the world. She put out a call to action and created a team of industry professionals to help her execute the vision from the very first issue. Janean Wadley, editor and owner of Forever Yes Weddings, and Shellye Lyons, social media director and owner of Your Media Girl have worked tirelessly since day one. Our Weddings Magazine initially released a sneak peak issue in Southern Dallas County Magazine in its June 2014 issue and later debuted full independent issues in June 2015.

Our Weddings exclusively showcases Black love and community, which sets it apart from the rest. Our Weddings is providing tangible proof that our daughters and sons have every right to  vision love and nuputals on grand scale. They are disapproving the stereotype that “Black people don’t get married” and that, Black people, as any other socio-economical class are more than a troth of baby mamas and baby daddies.

Not only does Our Weddings exclusively showcase Black couples and weddings, it promotes Black designers, event planners, and vendors within the wedding industry.  Our Weddings celebrated its one year anniversary in June 2016 by hosting its contributors to brides-to-be at the Hilton Inn in Duncanville. This year McQuain and her team decided to make the event larger and highlight more Black wedding vendors; thus The Black Bridal Experience, a two-day showcase of designer wedding fashion, wedding planners, and vendors. The extravaganza was held at the Manderley in DeSoto, Texas and was on Friday, June 23 through Saturday, June 24.

I had the pleasure The Black Bridal Experience Fashion Show. It was exquisite and oh-so fabulous! Backstage prep filled me with excitement and anticipation for the show to start. Once the show started, I fell in love with being in love all over again. By the time the show was over,  I’d decided on a 10 year vowel renewal, picked a location, decided on my dress, bridesmaids and junior bride dresses! Wadley did an amazing job ensuring everything ran smoothly and everyone was well taken care of.

Designs by @masterpiece_boutique_ , @thefashionopera@faith.diva, @martaruizdesigns, @whiteweddingworkroom, and @pantorabridal from Brooklyn, New York. ripped the runway.The gowns featured in this show were the embodiment of Queening and absolutely stunning.

Backstage Preperations

Hair whipping and face painting are a must for the runway.

Designers busy fitting the best look on each model, ensuring perfection and adding finishing touches  up until the very last second – it’s a beautiful storm to stand back and watch.

As the dust begins to settle, attention is given to even the slightest details and there’s just enough time snap a few pictures before showtime!

Showtime

The room was was dim, with the spotlight  focused on the runway. We sat in anticipation for the show to start, and when it did the room filled with ooh’s and ahh’s. The ladies moved strategically,  and with grace and elegance.

The after party!

Following the show designer @stephengoudeau displayed four breath taking gowns in the courtyard, and VIP guests spoke one-on-one with the designers while enjoying light hor d’evour’s and cocktails.

More details about The Black Bridal Experience weekend will be in the next issue of Our Weddings Magazine. If you are a bride, know a bride, or are dreaming of being a bride and find yourself coming up short on  wedding inspiration that speaks to your inner Queen, then subscribe to Our Weddings Magazine and be sure to follow on Instagram and Facebook!

Date Night Creepin’

My husband and I couldn’t let Spring Bring pass by without a date night. If you’re a parent,  then you know how easily plans can change.

The children were slotted to be with my parents, so we made plans for a date night with a ‘lil swag’. My plan was to come home from work and get casually cute. We’d head out to Trinity Grove, hold hands and walk around until the vibe lead us to a spot. We’d have dinner, a couple of drinks; and I’d twirl my fingers through my hair,  laugh, and childishly giggle at my husband’s corny jokes. I’d close out dinner with some freakish fantasy promise to my husband, then we’d take the scenic route home and have loud, mind blowing sex until we both fell out.

[INSERT REALITY] The children are dropped off at my parents. The baby gets sick and within a half an hour of being dropped off, I receive a text to be on standby because I may need to pick her up. Now my heart is heavy and I’m dealing with conflicting emotions. Should I just go get my daughter ,or continue putting effort into making time to be alone with my husband, at the risk of having your plans interrupted by a trip to the ER. I was determined to have date night with my boo, so I didn’t mention the text to him.

By the time I got off work he’d texted me letting me know he was hitting the gym, and would meet me at home a little later. I took advantage of the alone time and grabbed a nap. My husband woke me up with a loud yelp. Bragging about how he’d skipped the gym, and, instead, delighted himself in dessert and four Long Island Ice Teas at the bar. It took a few seconds for me to realize exactly what he’d said and what was going on, just enough time for my phone to ring -you guessed it! My parents are on the line, and I can hear my baby sulking and crying in the background. They’re explaining to me that she won’t eat anything and just wants to be held. So I did what any caring and loving parent would do.  I asked if she was she bleeding, had a fever, and did they have any form of medicine for comfort. Then suggested giving her a popsicle to calm her down. The popsicle suggestion worked, so I told them to call me back if things got worse and she wasn’t able to get comfortable.

The girls and I went out of town the first five days of the break. So my husband and I hadn’t really seen one another and we were looking forward to date night. Time alone and away from the house is something we really needed, so we took a chance and went for it. We stayed close to home since the baby was sick, and I decided to be daring. I had not one, but two Coconut mojitos -my new favorite drink. It’s just the right combination of sweet and tangy, with a splash of refreshment for me. We both also decided to try items off the menu that we hadn’t had before. To switch things up a little, you know.

I don’t know how you and your spouse entertain yourselves while out. But me and mine take pleasure in drumming up the love stories of other couples and families that we see while out. I’m a lightweight, so I was good an tipsy by the time I finished my first drink. I may have embarrassed my love and myself a time or two by the time I finished the second drink.

Long story short, dinner was great and we had a wonderful time. We made it home and crashed until my parents called us early the next morning.  We weren’t able to have a lavish night on the town, but we were able to spend a few hours of quality time together and it was great while it lasted (especially the sleep)!

What risks have you taken, as a parent, to ensure quality time with your spouse?

 

Best Friend

image
Photo by Le_Choyce Photography

I’m no expert,  I can’t sprawl off what percentage of people settle into adulthood in their mid-thirties. But, I do find myself settling into adulthood now,  in my mid-thirties. The journey hasn’t been pleasant or comfortable for me the entire time, but I’ve learned so much about myself.  I knew that I’d settled into adulthood when I was able to appreciate myself as a whole. That means that I’ve come to a place in life where I can embrace my flaws,  weaknesses and strengths, and not feel as though I  to have to prove anything other than those personal truths as facts for ME.

While it’s easy to look at others and pick apart their situation,  it’s not easy to look within and pick yourself apart. I owe my ability to do that to my best friend (BFB). My BFB is an intelligent person, quick witted, physically and mentally strong, self aware, humorous, and gentle. BFB is dependable and trustworthy as well.

I have to be honest and say that it took some time for BFB and myself to finally make it click, over time we have and I’m happy for that. I learned a lot about myself in the midst of learning BFB. I’ve lost the need to feel in control of BFB’s emotions, reactions, and perspective on things, taken a step back and allow BFB to just be. Stepping back is easy, but it took time to (and I can admit that at times I still struggle with) not forcing my expectations on BFB.

It’s ok for us to be different, it’s great that our differences compliment each other so well.

And, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve turned into “THAT WOMEN” the one who is completely content socializing, traveling, or just everyday being with BFB. I have been known to refer to BFB as my own personal personal person. (I mean, how more grand can life be….a personal person, come on!!)
Yes, I’m talking about my homie, my love, lover, ace, friend, my best friend, my HUSBAND!

In my defense, I’m not attached at the hip with BFB, we both enjoy life as the individuals we are. But like the song says “I’m a movement by myself. But, I’m a force when we’re together.” 😆 Married life, it’s the best thing since fried chicken. (For me)

I don’t say all this with the intent of painting the perfect lil blue sky, sunny day, never a cloudy day picture. There are definitely daily annoyances that occur (in any relationship between 2 or more people living together) in our marriage. We pick our battles. I mean -is him putting the spoon for the maccaroni and cheese in the green beans REALLY worth it? On the occasion that I’m just in a “not up for it today” mood, I try to bring it up in as a joking a way as I can. 😇

Marriage is something that has to be worked at on a daily basis. It takes time and effort from both parties to learn how to live in a cohesive and loving environment. Once you figure it out, life gets good!

I may not have a long list of girlfriends to call on, like back in High School. But, I have a guy who is my shoulder to lean and cry on, my personal comedian, chef, driver, travel planner, lover, companion, praying partner and most of all, he’s my best friend!

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