Getting Out of the Box

This post was really difficult for me to share. I sat on it for almost a week. It’s amazing how comfortable we allow ourselves to become within labels. The biggest challenge in this, for me, is leveling up once I lose the label.

A Week of Realizations

On Monday of last week the workout was weighted squats, then we did thrusters (from a squat) and kettle bell high pulls. For some reason reading the workout on the board was a lot for me to digest. But it ended up not being too strenuous, and I worked up a sweat pretty quickly once I got going.

The weather was a nice, and the gym had a community atmosphere. It’s nice to see whole families, and children around, happy and thriving, on a nice day after a good workout.

We did a partner workout on Wednesday. I’m still al little intimidated with partner workouts, cause I never want to fall short for my partner.  We did deadlifts, work on the rower, and kettle bell swings.

I’ve discovered that rowing has replaced running as the one movement/exercise I absolutely hate. Don’t tell my trainer I’m saying this, but I’d much rather run than row these days.  Ultimately, the workout was good. I worked up a good sweat, and it was nice to be able to rest between movements. He programmed the workout so one person would be resting while the other did the movements. I was happy that I didn’t fall behind and was able to keep pace with my partner.

Losing the Label

My clothes fit loose now, and I’m starting to get complements on my weight loss. I purchased some new workout clothes and  was talking with one of my gym-mates about feeling insecure in the outfit I’d just bought. I made the statement, “You know big girls can’t wear everything.”

She replied to me, “No, you’re ok. It looks just fine…and, you’re not a big girl.” I brushed off the comment, finished my workout and didn’t think much about it. Then, the following day when I dropped my children off at daycare the Director made a statement about me not needing to lose anymore weight. Seriously, what are they seeing that I’m not?

As with most things, I took this opportunity to do some self reflection and self evaluation. I can’t really say that I’ve lost a significant amount of weight, because I haven’t weighed myself in a very long time. But my clothes have become too big and I see the change in the mirror.

I’m not a “big girl” anymore, am I?

I mean, the outfit that I was feeling self conscious about wearing was an outfit that I got from the Juniors section. I can actually fit Nike athletic gear off the rack, and I can pass the towel test.  You know, when you’re able to wrap a regular sized towel around your whole body!

But, in my mind, I represent for the Big girls! That’s how it’s always been and that’s how it’s gonna be. Right?

I realize that holding on to the “big girl” label is self-sabatoging and something I need to work on. Luckily for me, I have belly fat,  inner thigh fat, and some pretty unhealthy eating habits get rid of  before I can be fully comfortable losing my “big girl” label.

What’s the biggest hurdle you face with your body transformation in comparison to the body your psyche says you have?

2 Thumbs Up Week 2

Manic Monday

Monday, like every other Monday, was dreadful, but I’d packed my bag the night before, prepared a nutritious lunch, and packed snacks, to ensure I’d have enough energy for the workout. I made sure that I ate well and kept up with my water intake during work. I got to the gym and saw that we were assigned thrusters and  jump rope.  Since I pre-planned and had my food prepared for the day, my energy level was at a good place. I was able to challenge myself a little.  During the workout I used a bar instead of dumbbells and was turning flips on the inside! No additional weights, but it felt so good, like…sooo gooood!

Kingdom Athletics did a modified version of the Crossfit workout, so we worked out as one group. That helped me because my ego wouldn’t allow me to lag too far behind the pace of the Crossfitters. I completed the workout with a little bit of energy and ultimately ended up with a nice sweat. Monday I walked away giving myself high-ofives and smiling from ear to ear. Sometimes it’s the little things.

Humbling Hump Day

Wednesday was my 9th wedding anniversary. I didn’t make it to the gym, but I won’t say I didn’t get any cardio in for the day (pops collar and drops mic).

Friyay or Whatever

As fate would have it, every single time I skip a day or some time at the gym, I show back up to the things I hate. Friday’s workout was pure cardio. Friday’s workout was sixteen (16) 100 meter sprints. I saw it written on the board for the Crossfit workout, and just figured our Kingdom Athletics workout would be written up on our board within minutes. Imagine the horror of being called to the starting line as one group.

I wanted to cry. I didn’t because I’ve made a promise to myself this year to make running  positive and therapeutic instead of dreadful. So I got my attitude together and prepared for the run. By the fourth lap I had requested the music be cranked up and had began talking myself through the runs. By the eighth lap my foot was aching pretty bad, and I was trying to figure out if that would be the  ailment I could use to get of the remaining laps. On the tenth lap he dismissed the Kingdom Fit crew, but I’d set my mind on completing twelve strong laps.  I asked if there were any other movements for the workout, found out there weren’t, so I decided to keep going and not stop at ten. I did all sixteen laps! I was tired as hell from the workout, but felt like I was walking on the moon for sticking through it.

That’s what this journey is about, embracing the good days and continuing to move. I have made such a positive turn around with running. It had everything to do with me changing my perception and conquering my fear.

 

Getting Back in the Saddle

Never Miss a Monday

I ended my workout hiatus this week. So far so good. When I showed up on Monday, I was embarrassed, afraid and walked in with my tail tucked. But the fam welcomed me back with open arms and, as usual, it was like I hadn’t missed a beat -until the workout started! I was inspired when I saw the board, because the workout looked like I could actually get through it without throwing up or falling out. 

The workout consisted of push ups, sit ups, kettle bell swings and running. I was able to keep a nice steady pace, and was proud when finished my run with a little spirit. I’m guessing my trainer noticed the pep in my step too, cause when I glanced at the board ‘2 ROUNDS’ suddenly appeared.  After about a 3 second fit, I started up on the second round.  By the end of my second run I had to take it slow and on a few occasions I felt the need to throw up -I didn’t, what a great workout!

Mid-Week Mommy/Beast

I rarely bring my children with me to the gym because I have a hard time seperating the mommy in me when I need to be in beast mode. On Wednesday my husband had something come up  and wasn’t able to pick the girls up. My original thought was to skip working out that day, but I knew that if I skipped I wouldn’t make up the workout. Since I’m just getting back in the game I knew I needed to bring them along and get er’ done. Equipped with snacks, drinks, and hand held toys we headed off to the box.

As anticipate, my toddler didn’t stay in the childrens’ play area. But have no fear, I’m a mom and I am here! I had already pulled out and set up her stroller, and positioned it out of the way of others, just in front of my workout space. Thankfully the workout didn’t require me to leave the area I was in. It was actually a nice bonding moment for my baby and I. She helped me count out my dumbbell presses, push ups and box step ups. I’m so glad she was there, cause I was tired halfway through the first round but her smiling face kept me going.

This was my first time taking my toddler old to the gym. She did so good! I don’t have as many reservations about taking her any longer.

Friyay!

Friday rolled around and I had begun subconsciously sabotaging it’s workout in my dreams on Thursday night. I woke up and decided to go ahead and throw my workout clothes together and take my gym-bag to my car. During work I thought about how tired I was and  how I should just go home since I had plans for the night. Up until I got in my car and headed in the direction of the gym I was talking myself out of going. But I decided to snap the hell out of it. I cranked up some 2 Chainz (my get crunk, ratchet artist of choice) and got my attitude togetha!

The workout was intense and I had to dig deep to get through it. Dumb bell thrusters, sit ups, and running. I simply wasn’t prepared for the intensity of this workout. I hadn’t eaten enough food or drank enough water that day. It showed in my performance.

This week is done!

I am proud of myself for completing a week of working out after having missed so long. It’s great to be a part of gym that is family, that looks for you when you don’t show up and welcomes you with open arms when you return. I may have thought that missing the gym for all that time was a much needed break, but it wasn’t. Time waits for no woman, and our workouts gradually gain intensity. Missing that time in the Box makes it that much harder to get through the workouts I’m doing now.  I don’t plan to miss a month of working out again, even if I can’t make it to the gym, I’ll just take a brisk walk or do some other exercise.

Big Dreams

My oldest daughter and I attended the 2017 Mommy and Me Dream Bigger Tour in Dallas, Tx over the over weekend. It was quite a treat. The Dream Bigger Tour is a motivational conference for Mothers, Mompreneurs, and their children. The founder, Sherrie Walton wanted to create a platform that would allow her to put her children first and provide her the ability to never be “too busy” to be present, in the moment and available to tend to their needs. Sherrie is a gem! She was open, transparent and genuine when I spoke with her.

Founder of the Mommy & Me Dream Bigger Tour, Sherrie Walton http://www.iamsherriewalton.com

The event was kicked off with a powerful and purposeful prayer by author, and found of  LeBrin Books, Dian LeBrin. As lunch was being prepared for serving we had time to visit with vendors and mingle with other Big Dreamers. After lunch, it was time for business an the breakout sessions began.

Dian LeBrin

We met the Kidpreneur’s, they talked to us about the businesses they owned, how they can  up with their businesses, and what those businesses meant to them. The panel consisted of two beauty influencers; Chelsea Stafford who founded Bare Hair Bar and Glossy Girl’s founder Destinee Duncan. The third panelist was future event planner Christopher Walton. After their Q&A session, all aspiring kidpreneurs were allowed the opportunity to tell us what their future businesses would be. We also heard from attending kidpreneurs with already established businesses.

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Chelsea, Christopher and Destinee during their Q&A segment.

The children were then taken to a separate area with speakers; Ex-NFL Player, Bethel Johnson and Youth Motivational Speaker, Valencia King who also had fun career potential motivating activities for the children.

Bethel Johnson being introduced by Shirley Walker-King
Valencia King

We enjoyed a host of guest speakers and panelists. Our  first speaker was Tiffany Fulcher, founder of Tiffany Fulcher Enterprises. She provided us with strategies on How to Make Money as a Mompreneur.

Tiffany Fulcher

Shirley Walker-King is a business and relationship coach, she spoke to us about work life balance. -Remind me later to tell you why I love her.

Shirley Walker-King

Renee Villanueva founded The Motherly Hustle and she talked to us about perseverance, and staying encouraged.

Renee Villanueva

We were given marketing advise from Phenixx Marketing‘s President, Telea Stafford.

Telea Stafford

The panelists shared some of their experiences with trials, tribulations and triumph while pursuing their dreams. They were open, honest and transparent with us about how difficult it can be to overcome the fear of change. The panelists were, Veronica Torres Hazley of V12 Yoga.  and Sherlyn Dorsey of You Are More Than Their Mother.

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Panelists during the Q&A segment.

Transparency, drive,determination and most important, support  filled the room. The most memorable part of the experience for me was the wrap-up. The children came back just as we were summarizing the advise and power messages we’d just received. We then took the hands of our children and made pledges of unconditional love and support to one another. Last, we took a moment in private and wrote down fears and things that we needed to let go of on index cards, tied them to balloons, and had a balloon release in the park. Not only was the experience therapeutic, but I left with tools to help move forward with my dreams and aspirations.

Preparing to release our fears!
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The beauty of releasing your fears!

My daughter had a great time and enjoyed the day out with me. She enjoyed the breakout session where she created a vision board and had a list of things to do to assist in reaching her highest potential.  For me, the most important thing that she took away from the event was to always do her best and she is assurance that Mommy is behind her  and in full support of her dreams.

My baby, CayB ready to make her dreams a reality!
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Dream Bigger Dallas!
http://www.phenixx.com / Founder of Bare Hair Bar, Chelsea Stafford
http://www.PinkPoodleFashion.com
Perimetric Financial Services
Mary Kay Independent Sales Director Kerry Francis
KeepCollective.com with Valerie Jackson
Peremier Designs by Susan
http://www.itworks.com
Chole + Isabel by Nancy http://www.candibynancy.com
http://www.skiddlesclothing.com