I’m no expert, I can’t sprawl off what percentage of people settle into adulthood in their mid-thirties. But, I do find myself settling into adulthood now, in my mid-thirties. The journey hasn’t been pleasant or comfortable for me the entire time, but I’ve learned so much about myself. I knew that I’d settled into adulthood when I was able to appreciate myself as a whole. That means that I’ve come to a place in life where I can embrace my flaws, weaknesses and strengths, and not feel as though I to have to prove anything other than those personal truths as facts for ME.
While it’s easy to look at others and pick apart their situation, it’s not easy to look within and pick yourself apart. I owe my ability to do that to my best friend (BFB). My BFB is an intelligent person, quick witted, physically and mentally strong, self aware, humorous, and gentle. BFB is dependable and trustworthy as well.
I have to be honest and say that it took some time for BFB and myself to finally make it click, over time we have and I’m happy for that. I learned a lot about myself in the midst of learning BFB. I’ve lost the need to feel in control of BFB’s emotions, reactions, and perspective on things, taken a step back and allow BFB to just be. Stepping back is easy, but it took time to (and I can admit that at times I still struggle with) not forcing my expectations on BFB.
It’s ok for us to be different, it’s great that our differences compliment each other so well.
And, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve turned into “THAT WOMEN” the one who is completely content socializing, traveling, or just everyday being with BFB. I have been known to refer to BFB as my own personal personal person. (I mean, how more grand can life be….a personal person, come on!!)
Yes, I’m talking about my homie, my love, lover, ace, friend, my best friend, my HUSBAND!
In my defense, I’m not attached at the hip with BFB, we both enjoy life as the individuals we are. But like the song says “I’m a movement by myself. But, I’m a force when we’re together.” 😆 Married life, it’s the best thing since fried chicken. (For me)
I don’t say all this with the intent of painting the perfect lil blue sky, sunny day, never a cloudy day picture. There are definitely daily annoyances that occur (in any relationship between 2 or more people living together) in our marriage. We pick our battles. I mean -is him putting the spoon for the maccaroni and cheese in the green beans REALLY worth it? On the occasion that I’m just in a “not up for it today” mood, I try to bring it up in as a joking a way as I can. 😇
Marriage is something that has to be worked at on a daily basis. It takes time and effort from both parties to learn how to live in a cohesive and loving environment. Once you figure it out, life gets good!
I may not have a long list of girlfriends to call on, like back in High School. But, I have a guy who is my shoulder to lean and cry on, my personal comedian, chef, driver, travel planner, lover, companion, praying partner and most of all, he’s my best friend!